Reconnecting

This past year has been a year of reconnecting for me. I think this falls squarely in line with my goal of bringing more fun into my life.

Over the last year, I have reconnected with far-away family and friends through Facebook. This has been a great experience because I can keep up with what’s going on in their lives without waiting for the annual Christmas letter.

In October, we attended a family reunion in Hanford, California. The reunion was the Fullerton side of my family—my paternal grandmother’s family. We visited the local sights, including the sight of the old family farm. It was great to see family I had never met or had not seen in years. It was fun to spend time with my immediate family from Southern California, especially my grandfather, my aunt, my uncle and two of my three cousins who I only see about once a year if I am lucky.

In January, I flew to Las Vegas to reconnect with five former high school classmates. It was a whirlwind 24 hours, but we had the best time together catching up on the past 27 years and looking over our senior yearbook. The best part was we could enjoy each other’s company as 40-something adults. We have talked about trying for another get-together next January!

Now that we have moved into our new home, I have found it easier to reconnect with my sister. The move only put us about 20 minutes closer together, but with kids and busy lives, less travel time sure makes it easier for us to connect.

Reconnect with someone from your past. You may be surprised at the opportunities that unfold.

Practicing the art of doing (almost) nothing…

The last two months have been way too hectic for me. In June, I took two weeks vacation. When I returned to work at the end of June, my team had been restructured—adding three new employees to the six I already supervise. Between mid-July and early August, I attended four weddings—two in Southern California on back-to-back weekends. I have other challenges in my personal life that only add to this madness. To top it off, I stopped exercising. This was a bad move. All of this stress took its toll on my disposition. Fortunately, my boss noticed and told me to take a “mental health” day. Knowing how behind I was in my work, I reluctantly obliged.

A few weeks ago, Elrond and I quickly made plans for one last family getaway before school officially started for Kat. After I read a review for a restaurant called Duarte’s Tavern, we decided to go to the little town of Pescadero, California for the weekend. Pescadero is a small farming and ranching community nestled in a valley east of Highway 1 half way between Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay. Our timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The annual Pescadero Art and Fun Fair was the same weekend. We found the last available rooms at a B&B (in this case ‘bed and biscuit’) called the McCormick House Bed and Biscuit Inn. You can read my review at Trip Advisor.com. For the next two days, we were tourists. We walked around Pescadero, explored the art fair, ate some delicious food, and visited a goat farm. We slept in. We read. We sat in the garden. I pushed Kat on a tire swing. We watched the sunset at the beach. We practiced the art of doing (almost) nothing.

Lately, my weekends at home have been spent catching up with everything I haven’t been getting done during the week. Consequently, my life has been one continuous grind with no down time. This past weekend reminded me that I don’t spend enough time ‘recharging my batteries.’ I realized it’s okay to spend some time each weekend practicing the art of doing nothing. I have made time during the week to exercise again. With a life as hectic as mine, this is necessary for my mental and physical health. Summer may be almost gone, but I am going continuing perfecting the art of doing (almost) nothing.

Connecting the Dots

I was talking to a friend of mine recently and lamenting the accident I had 16 months ago. I realized shortly after the accident how close I had come to dying and how I wasn’t ready to die. Since then, I have felt this incredible pressure to figure why I am still here; what my purpose is. My friend asked me if I had ever watched Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech (I had not). He sent me a link to YouTube with instructions to watch it (click here if you haven’t seen it either). Steve Jobs told three stories about his life. I have summarized the main points here with direct quotes:

Connecting the Dots: “…You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect the dots looking backwards. You have to trust that somehow the dots will connect in your future… Believing that the dots will connect somewhere down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path.”

Love & Loss: “…Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do…If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle.”

Death: “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven, don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share; no one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent -- it clears out the old to make way for the new. Your time is limited; so don’t waste it being trapped by living someone else’s life.”

I was immediately stunned by those stories, to say the least. As I watched and listened, I quietly cried letting it all soak in. I was also inspired. This is what I learned:

When you come to an unexpected place in your life, the reasons for arriving at the place only become clear as you look back and “connect the dots.” Over the last 16 months, I have often wondered why the accident happened—and have been impatient to know what lesson is in it for me. I now realize that I have to trust that somehow the dots will connect in my future. Believing that the dots will connect somewhere down the road gives me a sense of peace; a sense of peace I have not known in a very long time.

I need balance in my life in order to be truly satisfied. Prior to the accident, my life was primarily my work. Although I believed what I did was great work, I didn’t have that balance with a great life outside of work. The balance is still a struggle, but with a renewed sense of peace, I feel a better sense of balance.

My time is limited. I feel pressure to live my life well each day…and every day I seem to fail in some way. I am sad on the days that I “waste,” knowing how quickly it can all disappear. However, my time here is limited. I need to focus more on the success I create each day and less on the failures.

I am thankful to my friend for helping me to connect one of these dots. I should clarify that this friend only recently came back into my life—after a 25 year absence. I am 43 years old now—you do the math. How someone who has missed the past 25 years of my life could be so perceptive overwhelms me. Perhaps this renewed friendship is just one dot helping me connect the other dots.

A Little R & R...

Ok, so this phrase conjures up visions of vacationing on a white sandy beach in some far away place. Right now, for me, this means “Reading and Recovery.” Last week, I had reconstructive surgery on my left leg—remember that near-fatal accident in December 2007? This surgery removed the excessive scar tissue and skin that resulted from the way it healed…think of it as a “thigh tuck.”

So, it has been a week since the surgery and the incision seems to be healing well. To pass the time, I have been catching up on reading—reading legal cases and writing briefs for my Planning Law class at UC Davis and finishing a book I had checked out of the library well over a month ago. The book is called “The Devil in the White City” by Erik Larson. It was recommended by a fellow student in one of my Planning courses since the book focuses on the Fair’s architect Daniel Burnham—notable architect and urban planner who is one of the founding fathers of urban planning. Among other structures, he designed the Flatiron Building in New York City. In addition, the book focuses on Frederick Law Olmsted who designed the landscaping for the Fair. As the founding father of landscape architecture, he also designed Central Park in New York City. The backdrop of the book is the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair – the Columbia Exposition that celebrated the 400th anniversary of Columbus’ arrival the New World.

The Fair was nicknamed “The White City” for its majestic beauty. Intertwined within the story of Burnham & Olmsted designing the “White City” is the story of H.H. Holmes—a serial killer who uses the Fair to lure his victims to his hotel. This was a fascinating book to read—all the more enthralling because it was a true story.

Here are some fascinating facts associated with the Columbia Exposition:

--One of the carpenters who worked there was named Elias Disney…eight years later he had a son named Walt (I wonder if his dad’s stories about the “White City” inspired him?)

--A poet named Katharine Lee Bates visited the fair which inspired a line in her poem “America the Beautiful”

--The belly dancers on the Midway danced to an improvised tune now commonly associated with snake charmers (you know the tune…There’s a place in France…)

--George Ferris built the first Ferris wheel here as a structure to “out ‘Eiffel’ the Eiffel Tower” built for the Paris World's Fair in 1889. The wheel was 264 feet high with 36 cars that could hold up to 60 people each!

--Some well-known products made their debut at the Fair: Cracker Jack, Shredded Wheat, Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix, and Juicy Fruit gum

While the Fair was being planned, built, and hosted, America was in a state of economic turmoil—banks were failing, people were losing their jobs. Sound familiar? Yet, through it all, a group of talented people created something that forged change in America in many so ways. I have hope that the times we’re living in now will make us equally stronger.

Back to Basics

Recently, I saw a commercial for Allstate Insurance. According to the commercial, Allstate has been in business since 1931—through the last 12 recessions (have there been that many in the last 78 years?). The commercial goes on to say that after the fear subsides in a recession, people start enjoying the small things in life—“back to basics,” they called it. Coincidentally, I received Ina Garten’s latest cookbook as a Christmas gift. The title? Back to Basics.

I think I have always embraced a “back-to-basics” kind of life. In 2000, my family and I moved to the Bay Area of Northern California. At the time, the technology industry was at its peak. We moved right into the middle of the “lifestyle of excess” in Silicon Valley—expensive cars and even more expensive real estate. At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom and we were living on one income. We felt so out of place. We couldn’t compete; even more, we didn’t want to compete. That was probably the most difficult 16 months of our life. Then, we faced not one, but two lay-offs in one year. We were fortunate to live not only within our means, but well within our means. Living by this principle helped us survive that turmoil.

Fast forward almost 9 years to the worst economic year in our lifetime. While people in our community are losing their over-mortgaged homes, significant portions of their retirement savings, and jobs, we are blessed to be in pretty good shape. We wanted to buy a home just as much as the next person, but we resisted the insane California real estate market. We have a long way to go until we retire so, despite our retirement losses on paper, we have time to recover. In the face of Monterey County’s economic trouble, my job looks pretty secure; having some seniority to fall back on doesn’t hurt either.

I can’t help but wonder if our country would be in such bad shape if more of us had embraced a “back-to-basics” kind of life? We can all help the economy get back on its feet without spending our way into bankruptcy. Start enjoying the simple things again—home-cooked meals, visits with friends and family, gifts from the heart. Let the “Joneses” keep up with themselves. Pretty soon, I bet they will be trying to keep up with you.

Prescription for Fun

As the holidays approach, I have spent some time reflecting on everything that has happened in the past year. I cannot believe how much has changed and that we survived the year!

I had lots of good things happen in ‘08, once I recovered from the accident that almost ruined every Christmas to come: the “Costco Caddy” incident on December 20, 2007, when a runaway Cadillac crashed into our local Costco food court. I missed severe injury by inches, but my leg wounds ultimately resulted in surgery and a long recovery from the “disabled list.” Since "the winter of my discontent", I was part of a relay team that participated in the Big Sur International Marathon. Although I didn't run as much as I would have liked, I was able to participate and finish. I also went back to school at UC Davis for a professional certification in Land Use and Environmental Planning. My activities with St. George’s Episcopal Church and Native Daughters of the Golden West added more fun to my life.

After two years of intense work and 17 years of mentally baking an idea, Route 66 Railway—El’s coffee-table book about Route 66 and the Santa Fe Railway in the Southwest—arrived in late October. We’ve sold a bundle of signed copies in less than two months and overall sales are climbing thanks to tremendous word-of-mouth. The media coverage is just beginning: El is acting as a one-man PR agency, but that’s a small trade-off for having a book that looks so good. More signings and author talks are scheduled over the next four months, so watch El’s book website: http://www.66rails.com/. He also started a personal photo blog, “Outside is America."

Our daughter Kathryn is an 8th grader at Monte Vista Christian School. We’re all so proud of the fine young lady she has become. She joined the leadership class, sings in the middle school choir, went to MVCS’ summer equestrian camp, and continues as a Girl Scout. We took Kat to Disneyland for her 13th birthday, which fell on Mother’s Day this year. (As a bonus, Elrond and Kat got a cab ride on the Disneyland Railroad!).

As a family, we still found time to have fun, topped off by an Amtrak trip to Portland and side trips to the Oregon Coast, Columbia River Gorge and elsewhere. In September, El and I finally got to meet our longtime favorite SF Giants shortstop, Omar Vizquel, at his first West Coast art reception (see my September blog post). We reunited with old friends John and Debbie Scott and their children. El and I spent memorable evenings listening to Bruce Springsteen in Sacramento and the Police. I had been waiting to see both bands since college!

Sadly, we had to say goodbye to Tess, our Calico kitty, who passed away in November after more than 15 years of bringing us joy. We’re still in mourning, along with her sister Zoe, but Atticus is doing his best to keep our spirits up.

We have a new arrival: a gray kitten named Lucy, who slowly adopted us during the past few months. Atticus finally has a little playmate/ henchman.

Despite a year that started out so terribly, I managed to bring the fun back into my life. I have so much to be grateful for. Despite the many challenges and struggles in our world, I have a renewed spirit of optimism for 2009. I hope your holidays are happy, and that life brings you great joy in the coming year.

Dirty Wow Wow

On Halloween, our cat Atticus decided to “dress-up.” Well, not dress up in the traditional sense—he assumed the character of Houdini. Shortly after 9:00 PM, he escaped from the house and started his 40+ hour adventure in the big wide world. My husband noticed he was missing about two hours later and spent the next several hours trying to find him. The next morning, Atticus still wasn’t home. Frantic, we printed up flyers and posted them around the neighborhood and in nearby stores. We walked the neighborhood, calling his name, looking in bushes and under cars. We even drove through the surrounding streets hoping NOT to find him on the side of the road.

By Saturday evening, it started to rain—HARD! We were terribly worried about our white cat that spends all of his time indoors. Where could he be in the midst of all this rain and bad weather? We put his basket out on the front porch hoping that he might find it and know he was home. Saturday night turned into Sunday morning and still, no Atticus. We couldn’t imagine where he was. We printed and put up more signs to replace the rain-damaged ones. Around 3:00 PM, I said to Elrond, “I am starting to lose hope that we’ll find him.” Not 30 seconds later, the phone rang. It was one of our neighbors calling to say they saw the sign at Safeway about a lost cat with a gold ID tag. They thought the same cat was under their car because he had a gold ID tag, too.



We ran down the block to their house. Under their car was a dirty gray cat. At first we didn’t think it was him. Our daughter crawled on the ground under the car to get a better look at the cat. She called out “Atticus?” He turned to look at her and cried “wow!” Not “meow”, but a frantic “‘wow’ you found me!” It was our beloved cat—the cat that makes our house a home with his purring and rubbing and “wowing.” He was filthy, to say the least. We thanked our neighbors profusely and took Atticus home to have a bath. Fortunately, he doesn’t mind water much so this was easier than you’d think. Kat donned her bathing suit and helped get him clean again. After sleeping for nearly two days straight, Atticus seems to be back to his old self.



You may be puzzled by the title of this blog—Dirty Wow Wow. Last summer, we took a trip to Portland, Oregon. At Powell’s City of Books, we saw a display about a book called “Dirty Wow Wow and other love stories: A Tribute to the Threadbare Companions of Childhood.” This adorable book is about beloved childhood stuffed toys (one being named ‘Dirty Wow Wow’). Although Atticus is not a stuffed toy, he is our beloved pet—our ‘Dirty Wow Wow’ who adds so much joy to our lives.

7 Lists of 7 Things

I follow another blog called Kate’s Corner. Recently, Katie posted her “7 Things Survey.” The lists inspired me to write up my own. I thought this would be easy. I was surprised how hard it was to give meaningful answers! Enjoy!

7 things I plan to do before I die. . .
1. Hike to Havasu Falls in Arizona
2. Visit Ireland, Portugal, Spain, and Italy
3. Write an essay for “This I Believe”
4. Own a bakery
5. Design my own house
6. Write a cookbook
7. Be a grandmother

7 things I can do. . .
1. Cook almost anything
2. Make quilts
3. Paint and wallpaper
4. Throw a great dinner party
5. Organize
6. Sew
7. Cross-stitch

7 things I cannot do. . .
1. The “splits”
2. Calculus
3. Physics
4. Style hair
5. Knit (not well anyway)
6. Touch my toes
7. Vulcan salute (think “Live long and Prosper”)

7 attributes that attract me to the opposite sex. . .
1. Sense of humor
2. Smart
3. Kind
4. Positive outlook
5. Righteous
6. Likes cats
7. Can cook

7 Things I say most often . . .
1. “El!” (my husband’s nickname)
2. “Kat!” (my daughter’s nickname)
3. “Shut up!” (as in “no way!”)
4. “Groovy”
5. “Planning, this is Laura…” (how I answer the phone at work)
6. “Get out!”
7. “I was listening to NPR today…”

7 Favorite foods. . .
1. Chocolate
2. Cheese
3. Peanut butter
4. Tomatoes
5. Cinnamon
6. Pasta Carbonara (or anything Italian)
7. Cupcakes

7 Books I Love . . .
1. Route 66 Railway (my husband’s upcoming book—due out in mid-October)
2. To Kill a Mockingbird
3. Funny in Farsi
4. Laughing Without an Accent
5. Life of Pi
6. Skippyjon Jones
7. All of the Anne of Green Gables series

The Artistry of Omar Vizquel

I am a baseball fan. I love the game. My love of the game was tested in 1994 when Major League baseball went on strike. After the World Series was cancelled, I lost interest in the game. Around the same time, I became a mother so I was occupied with other activities.

When we moved to Northern California in early 2000, the San Francisco Giants had just finished their new baseball stadium. Elrond and I watched their opening day game on television, and we became Giants fans that day. In 2005, the Giants acquired an amazing shortstop—Omar Vizquel. He is a joy to watch on the field—he makes dazzling plays with his signature style. He is also easy on the eyes! He is my all time favorite baseball player.

Last Christmas, just five days after my accident, Elrond gave me a Giants baseball jersey with number 13 and “Vizquel” on the back. He also gave me Omar’s book Omar! My Life On and Off the Field. While I was recovering, I read his book and learned about the personal side of him. As it turns out, he is just as dazzling as an artist off the field.

On September 4th, the Caldwell Snyder Gallery opened an exhibit of Omar Vizquel’s paintings. Here was my chance to meet my favorite ballplayer in person! Elrond surprised me by making reservations for us to go.

In the afternoon, we arrived at our hotel that was just a couple of blocks from the gallery. It was a gorgeous afternoon in San Francisco—warm and breezy. We walked down to the gallery around five o’clock. When we walked in, we saw all of his gorgeous work—oils and watercolors in both vibrant colors and dark muted tones. Omar took the time to speak to all of us about what inspired his work. He took questions from the crowd—of course Elrond was brave enough to ask him about the inspiration for two of his watercolors called “Take Me With You #1 and #2”. Earlier this year, Omar was injured during Spring Training and needed knee surgery. He had to sit out the season until mid-May. He said he felt depressed and empty, like a skeleton. Baseball was like a beautiful woman going to a party. It seems as though the skeleton pleads “take me with you!”

Other Giants players and luminaries were there: First baseman Rich Aurilia, Second baseman Kevin Frandsen, Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow (“Kruk”), Comcast SportsNet reporter Amy Gutierrez, Managing General Partner Peter Magowan, General Manager Brian Sabean, and Chief Operating Officer Larry Baer. The people watching opportunities were as much fun as looking at the art. I took pictures with Omar and Ritchie. Elrond took pictures with Kruk and Amy. It was a blast. Toward the end of the event, Omar took the mike and sang along with band. He also did a little salsa dancing with some of the ladies. He was such fun to watch. As we were leaving, I worked up the nerve to talk to Omar. I told him how much I liked him as a player and how my dear husband bought me his jersey and his book. I told him I loved his art and to keep painting. It was one of my best days.

After the event, Elrond and I walked up to Chinatown to have dinner. We relived the whole evening while eating our almond chicken and steamed dumplings. When we were finished, they brought out our fortune cookies. My cookie had the following fortune:

Indeed, one of my dearest wishes did come true.

I Feed People

Recently, my husband and I had my co-worker and his wife over for dinner. I cooked the Indian recipes I learned during a class I took in San Francisco. I set a beautiful table—although, it was nearly ruined 10 minutes before my guests were scheduled to arrive. My curious cat Atticus jumped up on the table to inspect the full water glasses (he loves water) and knocked one of them across the silk tablecloth and pashmina shawl I used as a runner. I promptly threw them in the dryer and everything was good as new in 15 minutes. Good thing my guests were running late.

I learned to cook with my grandmother. She was a great cook and loved to cook for her family. She was patient and never stressed about the mess I made in her kitchen. After I was married, I started collecting cookbooks, reading them like some people read novels. That was 19 years ago. I am a good cook and love to cook for people. While some people cook only because they have to eat, I cook as a hobby. I love to cook for people. I love to see people enjoy what I cook for them.

My latest volunteer project also involves food. My friend Stephanie Meineke and I are co-chairs of the I-HELP program at St. George’s Episcopal Church. I-HELP (Interfaith Homeless Emergency Lodging Program) offers single men shelter, food, and support though the gracious, generous, and continued support of over 60 Monterey County churches, synagogues, temples, and religious organizations including St. George's. I-HELP has never missed a night of offering services for the homeless in its 15 years of operation. What a great program! On the third and fifth Thursdays of the month, the volunteers at St. George's provide a meal, conversation, shelter and breakfast to-go for 25-30 homeless men. I get the same satisfaction cooking for these guys as I do cooking for my friends.

It is who I am—I feed people. It feeds my soul.

• LL

What do you do for fun?

In December 2007, I survived a near-fatal accident (see more here). After the accident, I started physical therapy as part of the healing process. At my first session, my physical therapist asked me, "what do you do for fun?" When I had to think about the answer, I knew there was a problem. My initial response was, "I work a lot." This response scared me--how is it that I could not identify what I do for fun? Simple--I had let the monotony of everyday life define me. I worked long hours and spent the rest of my time caring for my family.

This did not happen overnight. As I look back now, this was an almost imperceptible process. When my husband was laid off in 2001, I was a stay-at-home mom to our only child, Kathryn. To make ends meet, I went back to work 'temporarily' (I am still at my 'temporary' job). With my full-time job, the things I loved to do slowly fell away one by one. Fast forward 6 1/2 years to the simple question "what do you do for fun?"

Six months later, my physical wounds have healed, but a void still remains. My mission now is to define a new path for myself by:

• bringing back fun into my life
• nuturing a hobby or two
• reminding myself that my job is 'just work'--it does not define who I am.

So, as America celebrates her independence today, I will celebrate my 'independence' from the monotony of life.

• LL